So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
