I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
