oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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