At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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