i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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