ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
