Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
