Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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