I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
