you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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