Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
