Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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