Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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