Sponge bath it is.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sobbing to NWA
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize