he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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