i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The air taste purple.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
