you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
