Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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