Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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