You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
