also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
