six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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