If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
