I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize