woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
