after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
