We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
