how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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