He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
