People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
