it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
