he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize