shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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