ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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