ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize