i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just google imaged poop.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
