I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
