Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
