he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
