i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
