Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
