He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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