So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
