Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sponge bath it is.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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