____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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