and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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