you win again, gameday.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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