dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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