The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
