cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
