Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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