His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
