hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
