it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
