Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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