I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
