just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
