the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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