the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize