butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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