better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
