Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
