Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize