omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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