It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
