D3 body, D1 cock
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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