I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
